No, you’re not looking at a flying saucer, but rather, the “Chanel Pavilion,” a mobile, collapsible, exhibition pod set to take off in 2008 and travel over a two year period the from Hong Kong to Tokyo, New York, Los Angeles, London, Moscow and Paris.

Under the guise of a “noble research investment,” Lagerfeld commissioned Iraqi-born artist Zaha Hadid to design the collapsible fiber glass container in order to house the supposed Chanel inspired work of twenty internationally acclaimed artists.

The pod is supposedly “a celebration of the iconic work of Chanel, unmistakable for its smooth layering of exquisite details that together create an elegant, cohesive whole. The resulting structure is very much tied to that original inspiration—elegant, functional, and versatile both in its overall structure and detail.”

Somewhere I’m missing something because I don’t see the functional versatility. I suppose you can take it down and put it back up, but you can also move a house from Santa Monica to Santa Clarita. Does that really make it more functional? I mean while moving the house the roof got sheared off. And the “smooth layering of exquisite details” - well it looks smooth and I suppose it’s exquisite, but it certainly doesn’t remind me of the little black dress.

Regarding the artists, they were given a brief to create art in connection with Chanel’s back catalog of iconic handbags. The artists were all given a tour of Coco Chanel’s apartment in Paris and of the workshops in Verneil where the bags are handmade. Beyond that – the world was their oyster.

Stephen Shore chose to shoot the workshops in the style of American landscapes whilst Sylvie Fleury lined an entire room in leather, giving the impression of walking inside a handbag. Who knows what Yoko Ono or celebrity yoga guru Subodh Gupta will come up with… Style.com is partial to “the video by the Blue Noses collective from Russia, which imagines a future in which Chanel bags become the linchpin for all human relations.”

The exhibition will present some 40 costumes and accessories dating from the 18th century to the present—all recent Metropolitan Museum acquisitions—and will invite visitors to share their reactions via a blog that can be accessed from the “Special Exhibitions” page of the Museum’s website or from a “blogbar” of computer terminals in the exhibition galleries.

How friggin’ cool is that?   The average person can blog on the exhibition from home or directly from the computer terminal in front of the costume.  I can’t wait to see how many blogs they get.  Will the system be overloaded on the first day with so many visitors with opinions that they’ll have to shut it down for upgrades?  I mean, if you’re standing right there, how can you not just type in, “I love it,” or, “Gorgeous,” or, “Reminiscent of Coco Chanel’s appropriation of men’s sports clothes as the language of fashion, inasmuch as she made her own fashion of the sport jackets that were, of the time, everyday male attire.”

The only problem is that you have to visit the museum in order to blog on the exhibit.  And obviously we don’t all live in New York.  But given the blog descriptions of others, and the possible fame of some of the collection’s pieces, it may be possible to do some web searching and find enough information to have an opinion of your own.  And The Met does plan to post some individual costumes and accessories periodically on the website “with commentary from the Costume Institute curators and, where relevant, from contemporary designers” over the duration of the exhibit.  So we’re not completely left in the dark.

But what an amazing idea for an exhibit in this age of blogging like the wind.  Everyone is doing it, so why not let us have our say?

This week, it was reported that Linzi Stoppard, daughter-in-law of playwright Tom, decided she HAD to have a $400 gold beaded Roberto Cavalli dress from H&M.  So what did she do? She resorted to thievery.  To the appall of her sister shopper, she snatched the Cavalli dress right out from under the dressing room next door. 

I imagine the neighbor was too shocked to do much about it leaving Lindzi with her prize, rewarded for her catty behavior.  

According to Joan Harvey, a psychologist at Newcastle University who has done research into shopping behavior, women get swept into a pack mentality, similar to men at a football match, where they are competing to buy limited-edition items.

“The goal isn’t the dress itself, but to save money. As part of a group, each individual experiences a lowering of feelings of guilt and inhibition, so women will push and jostle to get to the front and may well do things that would ordinarily be out of character,” she says.

“You typically see it at the New Year sales, when I have noticed a lot of aggressive pushing to scrabble for bargains, but it does appear to be becoming a more widespread phenomenon.”

Some less aggressive and more common ploys include hiding items on racks they don’t belong on, removing parts of the garments such as belts or ties so they look incomplete, and hiding garments inside other garments so shoppers can’t find them.  Women are even nasty enough to tell other shoppers, “That looks just awful on you,” or to follow women to the dressing rooms to steal their “over-the-limit” clothes from the racks.

These women line up before the stores open, they try to place things on hold, they cozy up to the shopgirls, and they stake out the stores before the sales. 

Yes, they’re a new breed.  Sort of like a penicillin resistant virus.  Will doctors find the cure to the underhanded shopping aggressions of these pack-driven women?

Well maybe that’s not necessary.  Maybe the fashion industry needs to play fair and let everybody – and I mean the people in Minnesota, Kentucky, Georgia and the rest – have the opportunity to buy that $400 Cavalli dress.   Because releasing it in limited edition in the fashion capitals of the world, well maybe that’s not fair.

And then there’s Rachel Zoe. Whose clients have included Nicole Richie, the Olsen Twins, Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton – all pillars of style and strength of character… I mean, all of whom look exactly like, Rachel Zoe. And all of whom shared Rachel Zoe’s anorexia, and her big sunglasses, and her oversized tunics, and her head scarfs, and her boho bags – why exactly do we look to her for style advice? Oh, because she created “that” style. The one all of the disastrous girls who fell apart and ended up firing her wore.

But it takes time for trends to trickle down to Middle America. So upon losing all of her cloned clients, she wrote a book about them and published it riding on the names of her success, knowing that the rest of the country was just waiting to hear the secrets of their icons gone bad. And in the meantime she’d rake in the money and go retire someplace nice. As she’s not the 26 she claimed to be when she was BFF with Nicole and Ashley, no she’s past the mid thirties mark (though she looks much older). Systematic starvation and smoking will do that to your skin.

So what exactly does she advise? Let’s see… Well nothing that the average person could use. Unless you’ve got beaucoup bucks, this book is a waste of money:

“Big sunglasses camouflage a late night. They’re great when you need to hide…if you’re tired, or just not in the mood to be social.…One of my greatest peeves is how many celebs insist on wearing sunglasses as they walk the red carpet at the Oscars or other awards show.…The red carpet is no time to be hiding behind dark glasses—no matter how glaring the sun.”

I’m glad to know about your pet peeves, Ms Style A to Zoe. But how does that relate to my everyday look? I don’t regularly walk the red carpet, nor do I have the luxury of hiding in sunglasses at work.

“When packing my clients for a trip, I determine and fit much of what we need to glam them up…way in advance. But even then, a backup look (or twenty) might be thrown in at the last minute—particularly extra heels and bags. The entire lot is carefully wrapped and stuffed with tissue paper and shipped by FedEx to its destination.”

While it sounds quite fantastic to travel without luggage, I don’t think that I have enough clothes to send my “entire lot” in advance as I’d have to ship ground and that takes, what, a week? And those backup looks (one or twenty) aren’t quite in my budget, but thanks for that peek into the world where I’ll never live.

“Editing is an ongoing process. Rework a look. Revise your closet or cabinets. Reassemble a room. Don’t dress for the sake of a trend. If it doesn’t inspire you anymore, toss it out.”

Right, I’ll just “toss” it out. No matter that it cost two hundred dollars. That old thing just doesn’t scream inspiration. I’m just gonna go reassemble my room.

Ms Stlye A to Zoe, one would think you’d at least come down to our level, to give us some tips we really could use. But you’re stuck in that world where your clients have money, or should I say the clients you once had could pay you to look like you look.

Don’t get it twisted.

My fingers are cold. My body is chilled. My toes are frozen. My feet ache. My lungs are heaving. My stomach hurts from holding it in. My neck smarts from holding my shoulders back. I have a headache from too many bobby pins. I have a blank stare on my face from lack of nourishment. My skin is taught from dehydration. I’m stuck in my outfit until someone comes to let me out.

But fuck if I didn’t get compliments all day long.

Now that I’m in my hotel room I can rip off my dress, pull out all those bobby pins, turn the heat on high, order mac n’ cheese, throw on cashmere sweats and watch pay per view with the same blank stare and smile as I think about all those compliments. If that’s not fashion I don’t know what is…

Isn’t the phrase “Beauty Hurts” bandied about all over celebrity-ville? Well that’s the advice I took, and now I can’t get the gook out of my hair or replace my face’s blank look.

Who ever invented the phrase didn’t understand that we of the never never don’t walk red carpets and don’t frown in dark glasses for paparazzi hounds who don’t follow us around. I’d take a jeans and Uughs any day over heels in the snow, and I’d love to live six more years and avoid cancer’s ugly head for those who insist that skinny makes them smoke die young for fashion – a pathetic cause to be dead.