My personal opinion is that trends are a waste of time. They are a way of selling you things that you just don’t need.

“Experts” go to all of the fashion shows, after which they sit around mulling and stewing, trying to figure out what the shows had in common. Once they’ve figured out the similarities, they proclaim them, TRENDS! Or say these “experts” have seen three or four celebrities wearing the same thing – well these things are magically transformed into, TRENDS!

“This season turquoise is a trend because Heidi Klum, Cameron Diaz, Kelly Ripa and Hayden Panettiere have all worn turquoise dresses!” Give me a break. That’s called coincidence.

The truth is you should wear what looks good on you, not what a skinny little model has worn on the runway, or what a celebrity happens to have picked out of her closet.

This is why my trend report will always start with a good bra – because a good bra will always make you look good. The Le Mystere Tisha Bra is my favorite at the moment. It comes in plus size, regular size, and strapless. It’s invisible under t-shirts and tank tops. That’s what has sold me.

I’d normally go on to tell you about what jeans fit what body type, or how to alter your boyfriend’s basic v-neck to look good on you, but I’ve already started to talk about trends, so I might as well go on…

At the top of everyone’s list is the fact the gray is the new black. Even Calvin Klein, the king of black clothing, is a convert. He showed white, gray and beige on his runway. We’re accustomed to the white and beige, but gray? Well, it just means that he’s part of the trend. As is Michael Kors (although I can’t stand his line). And as far as celebrities go – because they’re the ones who bring the trends from the runway to real life – Kate Moss has already been spotted sporting a gray sweater with a gray fitted blazer, matching jeans and silver ballet flats.

Liv Tyler also caught the trend, and one more, in her gray sweater dress. Oversize knits are a fall trend too. So she killed two trends in one. Burberry and Fendi both had enormous-gauge yarn in outrageously large knit cover-ups on their runways.

While Kate’s ballet flats may still be around, booties are the new kid in town. They’re on everyone’s feet – from Tyra Banks to Naomi Watts (both of whom daringly wore them with bare legs. Gasp!). Ruthie Davis made a great pair, I can’t stop wearing them, and I wonder if maybe Christina Ricci feels the same way as they looked fabulous on her feet in the February issue of Angeleno Magazine.

Another biggie – the wide leg pant is back. And Drew Barrymore has embraced them. 18th Amendment Jeans saw the trend coming and designed their “Bacall” jean before anyone even thought that the wide leg was attractive – especially in jeans. It was all skinny, skinny and skinnier. But 18th Amendment knew the pendulum had to swing back the other direction and they had the foresight to design a “high-waist, wide-leg” jean before anyone else. Very smart. They cornered the market. And their jeans look great on Kate Bosworth.

I think stripes seem to be hitting a lot of lists too. Ashlee Simpson was just seen out on the town wearing a big bold stripe top, while Hillary Swank opted for a milder version of thin stripes. But stripes aren’t necessarily new. I’d say that rather than stripes, there’s a larger print trend – the “world” trend. Designers are using street influences from East Asia to the Lower East Side to pattern their fabrics. J Lo is no stranger to this trend. But now Mischa Barton and Sienna Miller have hopped on board with what looks like “retro flair.” Lanvin and Westwood showed this trend on the runway with beautiful multi-color prints from plaids to inked-out paisleys.

The only thing left to cover is the classic suit which has re-emerged from the closet in an hourglass shape, at least on Valentino’s runway. But as Angelina Jolie wears it, while she certainly has the hourglass shape, per usual, she opts for the more traditional suit in a men’s shape.

So there you go. Fall’s trends.

Now my word of advice: stay away from these trends so you don’t look like the identically dressed plebes who follow the lists like the one I’ve just written above. There’s nothing worse than walking into a party wearing the same gray (or turquoise) dress as your best friend – or even more awful, the same gray and turquoise dress your best friend AND the stranger across the room.

Go for individuality and what looks best on you, not what the market is trying to sell. I promise, if you’re an individual you’ll always come out ahead.

Well first? Preppy is back. So I need to tell my sister that her son and daughter should throw away all the fabulous clothes I bought in Japan and quickly run to Nieman’s for some Polo’s and Penny Loafers. No seriously. Liz Claiborne is trend number one with”knits” – a black and white stripe turtleneck sweater. I suppose they were trying for a bit of Edie Sedgwick on a budget, but they missed by about a thriftstore and a movie camera.

Trend two: “precious cargo.” What the hell does that mean? They point to a pair of DSqared2 cargo pants which don’t look so precious but rather could be off the rack at Abercrombie & Fitch. And they’re three quarter length. Yes, preppy cargo pants. Imagine with a nice polo shirt and a sweater wrapped around your neck. Eeeygads!Drum roll please…

Trend three: “wrap it up.” A cashmere scarf. An argyle one from J Crew at that. So we’ve got a Liz Claiborne stripe turtleneck, a pair of three quarter length cargos and a J Crew argyle scarf? I’m really starting to wonder about the wisdom of my fashion bible.

Trend four? “flats rate.” No. Can’t stand behind this one. A pair of Juicy Couture Ballet flats made to look like old school Gucci loafers. Really I just can’t stand behind any Juicy Couture. And that Vogue can? Well, it shows where their advertising dollars are coming from.

I’m losing interest, but might as well look at five: it’s called “lady like.” I can’t explain it, so I’ll just show you:

Am I crazy or does that look anything but ladylike? Not to mention it’s a horrible outfit. The bag looks like it’s pleather, and I like how they were sure to pull the sleeves out from under the jacket so you’d get that extra bit of stripe. The jacket looks straight out of H&M and that sweater dress would make any girl look horrendous if she dare take off the jacket.

So what, we’re up to number six? “hats off.” Oh my God. A Gwen Stefani lookin’ Balenciaga red felt hat with chain that no woman in her right mind would be caught dead wearing unless she were 50 or older, had long blond hair and were a, how do you put it kindly, an “escort?” One of those women who doesn’t quite know how to dress but buys all the name brands, and especially the accessories, because she has a little extra spending money given her entrepreneurial employment.

C’mon, give it to me, number seven: “warm front.” A chunky cable knit fisherman’s sweater by Adampluseve. An especially ugly one at that with a J Crew cashmere stripe ascot. Do women wear ascots? I thought those were for men in smoking jackets.

Now we’re up to number eight: “red flush.” Okay you’ve got to see this one.

I included all of the details so you could see that it was indeed made by Luella Bartley, making it quite apparent what a big Vivienne Westwood knockoff it is, with a dangle on the front so heavy that it’ll flop over every time you set it down, and charms on the side that are so busy that they detract from the main attraction: the Vivienne Westwood knockoff. Well, I suppose that’s a good thing.

So it’s number nine (almost the end thank you): “crew cuts.” Two L.A.M.B. stripe cardigans. I guess you can’t really go wrong with those. One is black and red, the other yellow and red. Just classic cardigans. Boring.

YAY! Number Ten: “get the boot.” A Marc Jacobs boot. Not that I love Marc Jacobs. But finally something I can stand behind. I would wear these. So here they are. My pick from Vogue’s MOST WANTED List: