Style guru Rachel Zoe has come out with a book: “Style A to Zoe: The Art of Fashion Beauty & Everything Glamour.” Now buying for a store and being in the world of fashion, I have my own opinions when it comes to her sage words of wisdom, including the fact that she’s made her thoughts public at all. I believe that the celebrity stylist is the expert whose work appears without credit as the unique style of the client. The mark of a truly gifted stylist is one who has multiple clients with distinctly different looks, all of whom an outsider would view and think had no stylist at all.

And then there’s Rachel Zoe. Whose clients have included Nicole Richie, the Olsen Twins, Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton – all pillars of style and strength of character… I mean, all of whom look exactly like, Rachel Zoe. And all of whom shared Rachel Zoe’s anorexia, and her big sunglasses, and her oversized tunics, and her head scarfs, and her boho bags – why exactly do we look to her for style advice? Oh, because she created “that” style. The one all of the disastrous girls who fell apart and ended up firing her wore.

But it takes time for trends to trickle down to Middle America. So upon losing all of her cloned clients, she wrote a book about them and published it riding on the names of her success, knowing that the rest of the country was just waiting to hear the secrets of their icons gone bad. And in the meantime she’d rake in the money and go retire someplace nice. As she’s not the 26 she claimed to be when she was BFF with Nicole and Ashley, no she’s past the mid thirties mark (though she looks much older). Systematic starvation and smoking will do that to your skin.

So what exactly does she advise? Let’s see… Well nothing that the average person could use. Unless you’ve got beaucoup bucks, this book is a waste of money:

“Big sunglasses camouflage a late night. They’re great when you need to hide…if you’re tired, or just not in the mood to be social.…One of my greatest peeves is how many celebs insist on wearing sunglasses as they walk the red carpet at the Oscars or other awards show.…The red carpet is no time to be hiding behind dark glasses—no matter how glaring the sun.”

I’m glad to know about your pet peeves, Ms Style A to Zoe. But how does that relate to my everyday look? I don’t regularly walk the red carpet, nor do I have the luxury of hiding in sunglasses at work.

“When packing my clients for a trip, I determine and fit much of what we need to glam them up…way in advance. But even then, a backup look (or twenty) might be thrown in at the last minute—particularly extra heels and bags. The entire lot is carefully wrapped and stuffed with tissue paper and shipped by FedEx to its destination.”

While it sounds quite fantastic to travel without luggage, I don’t think that I have enough clothes to send my “entire lot” in advance as I’d have to ship ground and that takes, what, a week? And those backup looks (one or twenty) aren’t quite in my budget, but thanks for that peek into the world where I’ll never live.

“Editing is an ongoing process. Rework a look. Revise your closet or cabinets. Reassemble a room. Don’t dress for the sake of a trend. If it doesn’t inspire you anymore, toss it out.”

Right, I’ll just “toss” it out. No matter that it cost two hundred dollars. That old thing just doesn’t scream inspiration. I’m just gonna go reassemble my room.

Ms Stlye A to Zoe, one would think you’d at least come down to our level, to give us some tips we really could use. But you’re stuck in that world where your clients have money, or should I say the clients you once had could pay you to look like you look.

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