Normally I don’t like sweet things, but August and September have been a flurry of frozen creamy activity. It’s all very strange, but here I am stuck with a frozen lactose habit. I do not think things can go on like this. At least not for very long. I think. Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they can. Maybe I’m like the French fries in super size me and I’ll just live on and on and on forever impervious to life outside my jar, like an alien stuck in formaldehyde, what with all the additives and preservatives I’m putting in my system due to my creamy obsession…..

On a distinctly different note, I ate at Red Lobster last night. I figured everyone should try it at least once in their life. And I had to wait. There was a line. I have to admit I was a little shocked. I thought it’d be like eating at Jerry’s, or what used to be The Daily Grill. But it was almost an hour before there was a table available for two. I don’t know why we stayed. Probably because the seafood lover in me thought I could get some king crab legs on the cheap. No such luck.

I found Red lobster to be rather pricey. I was surprised to find that the mini lobster tail dinner cost $29.99. Key word “mini.” That’s close to a steak at The Palm. And go figure it tasted more like dirty dishwater than lobster. I guess that’s what happens when you’re mass producing seafood. Of course it came with cheese biscuits, coleslaw, and French fries (typical of any lobster dinner, really) which, I believe, explained why the price was so high.

From the television advertisements I thought that I was going to get all the lobster, shrimp and crab that I could stuff into my mouth, ears, and pockets for the low low price of $9.99. This, it seems, was not the case. The dinner for two, with tip included, cost just over a hundred dollars – with no alcohol.

I don’t think I’ll be going back there anytime soon.

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