I’ve never actually missed a flight before. I didn’t really think it could happen if you were at the airport, checked-in, and your flight hadn’t taken off. I regularly get to the airport with no time to spare and somehow “make my flight.”

But then again I always fly United.

Wednesday night I was taking Delta’s red eye. I never fly Delta. The flight was scheduled to depart at 11:23pm and I arrived at the airport at 10:40pm. I thought I had plenty of time. Almost 45 minutes.

I hate waiting at the airport. If you’ve checked in online, arriving at the airport an hour and a half before a flight means 5 minutes at curbside check-in, 10 minutes at the security wait line, and then an hour with nothing to do.

So 45 minutes is my general rule of thumb.

So Wednesday night I arrived at the airport 42 minutes before my flight - I know, living life on the edge. When I got out of the car and handed the curbside valet my ticket he looked at me with alarm. “It’s 42 minutes before your flight,” he said. “And?” I asked.

He grabbed me and my bag and hurried inside to the check-in counter. He quickly explained the “42 minute” problem to “someone important” at the reservation counter. The “important man” typed madly into his computer, looked up and finally said, “I’m sorry, we can’t check your bag. It’s too late.”

“Does that mean I can’t fly?” I asked.

“No,” he answered.

“Well where do I take my bag?” I asked.

“Nowhere.” he answered. “Your bag can’t fly.”

“Then I don’t understand,” I replied.

“You can fly, your bag can’t.”

I was awestruck. My flight wasn’t boarding. I had plenty of time. But they wouldn’t take my bag. Airlines regularly check luggage moments before departure if the luggage doesn’t fit into the overhead compartments. Yet they couldn’t take my bag 42 minutes before the flight.

The “important man” instructed me to go to the end of the counter, pick up the “black phone” and talk to “the man on the other end of the phone” to resolve my “situation.”

So I talked to “the man on the other end” and he resolved my “situation” by putting me on the next flight out - 6am. Knowing I’d have to be back at the airport with a good solid “45 minute” window to check my luggage, I decided to check into a nearby hotel as I had about 5 hours to kill.

First I took the free airport shuttle to the Westin, but they were completely sold out. Not a single room. But by the time I figured that out, the shuttle had left and wasn’t going to be back for another 15 minutes. So I hailed a cab and went to the Gateway Sheraton (wild guess). They had a room.

Once I got up to my room and was settled I looked at the time, which read 11:21pm. My flight hadn’t even departed…

So when you think about it, I was able to check-in with the curbside baggage handler, talk to the “important man,” resolve my “situation” with “the man on the other end,” take a shuttle to the Westin, wait in line to find out they were completely sold out, take a cab to the Sheraton, stand in line in order to check in, get to my room, and finally look at the clock which read 11:21pm… and all of that happened in less than 42 minutes.

Delta must have a good union.

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